A party

I am alone
I want the company of love & encouragement
But the only company that seems to find me is disbelief and depression
They tend to invite friends
Until it’s a great big party
They do encourage
Encourage me to drown and disappear
They say
“What’s a party w/o anxiety and suicidal thoughts?”
They dance around and around to the constant reminder of my disappointment
They let the song play every waking moment until I fall asleep
I guess I’m only safe in my sleep
To the point forever I want to be asleep.