“FAKE” Dread Locked Dumpster Diver

Not by choice this average

bonehead configured Earthlinked

Bozo went kicking, and screaming

into refuse bin

naturally (no questions asked,

nor guffaws uttered) with chin

clamped tight, since the missus

(by some rare, min

ness school, one in a

bajillion chancy pin

in a haystack fluke

of circumstance) sin

gull handed dropped,

the entire set of keys (YES) vin

dick heave lee into

the morbid, horrid

and fetid weeks old

garbage filled dumpster,

this an absolute zero - no win

ning situation, roundly pitched

against a cosmic malicious yin

hmm..., a hunch shot

thru my mind, that she,

whose first name simply Abby

blithely, casually,

and deliberately tossed

the only set of keys free

lee (for sole access

to our apartment, plus

the singular way to start our car,

a 2009 Hyundai Sonata

as if that makes sum difference),

and with her sinister glee

fully, excitedly, and coquettish lee,

plus maniacally, preternaturally,

and snidely wanted me

to sink deep into the

junk yard rabid dog gone,

maggot and rat

infested stinking pit pre

venting no more violent

fisticuff altercations getting re

tally lit tory revenge e'er since

(I readily, stoically,

and tacitly admit),

this blowhard good

for nothing husband drunken deal

O meg odd, Sigma Epsilon

former frat boy,

who weathered

volleyed unspooled evil

epithet laced expletives

both of us suffering fools dell

lose hen null, asper

this match made in hell

yourr truly inflicting (measure

for measure) un intel

ledge gent till hurtful heaping

glomming pell mell

more'n a death knell

feline times nine

lifetimes of misery hard sell

tum ma crony's, a

worthless corny soul

shucked aye tell

each of our base grotesqueness

equally receiving our

deserved respective weltanschauung

headstrong shouldering keel well

ling kneecaps, and toes

oven angry papa

no match for an absurd

albeit, one petsmart mama bird,

twittering cruelly, emasculating

my manhood, curd

dill ling, and excoriating

thine ego, gird

ding mine entire being

with accursed damnation heard,

 

this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,

sans her blistering, unswerving,

and weltering wicked wrathfulness,

yawping fiendish zeal,

she malevolently espoused

with every scathing word.