Tree Sap

I can’t do this. I’m breaking apart at seams. I want to yell out, I want to hold my loose ends together. But that tape comes unstuck and the seams separate again. I spill out over the sides, all of my stress and pain, bare for open eyes. I want to be there for you. I want to hold your hand and feed you with love and reassurance. But how can I do that when I can’t even hold myself together? My love bleeds through the threads and into your heart, but you reject it. You dispose of my honest words and feelings as if they were a used piece of paper. I love you, but it’s exhausting to pour love into you that I don’t have for myself; only for you to refuse it. Please don’t misunderstand, I love you, and I say that with all that I am. Though I too have emotions; I struggle and fall, I bleed and I cry. See me for me, not for who I try to be. See my pain, my tears, and my fears. See my bloodshot eyes, tear-tracked cheeks, and swollen feet. Feet swollen from the mountain I tried to climb for you, but tumbled down that hill like Jack did with Jill. You are my solar system and everything in between. You are the moon and the stars, the sun and the sky. I need you to understand that in comparison I am a broken branch leaking with tree sap, from where I was snapped in half. My bark is rough to the touch, but my leaves are welcoming and my sap is smooth like honey. So please see me for me and accept me for who I am. Help me thread my seams back together again, help me mend the broken branch with sticky tree sap. Discard the useless tape not the used piece of paper. Take my love into your heart with open arms, and keep it close. Please don’t let it bleed out and spill over the seams.

©Dust