Breathing in a Cage

I'm trapped in this room. I'm trapped in this house. I'm trapped in this town. I'm trapped and no one can find me. I'm trapped and no one can save me from this hell that keeps replaying in my head. I'm fucking trapped and no one realizes it. I'm trapped and alone and I can't breathe.

I breathe but nothing goes in. I breathe and I feel like I'm ingesting water- my lungs are drowning. I breathe and I feel  like I'm outside my body looking at myself, and I don't recognize the person I'm looking at. I don't fucking know who I am anymore. I breathe and I know I'm alone. I breathe and I can't fucking breathe. I breathe and it's like the world has no oxygen left to give me. I breathe and I feel like if I keep attempting to inhale something that isn't there, I'm going to turn into fucking dust. I breathe and it doesn't do anything. I breathe and I feel my organs starting to shut down. 

I feel like I'm buried alive. I'm in the ground breathing in the dirt that so many people have contributed to shoveling on top of me. I'm screaming for help- screaming for someone to just find me and unbury me and hold me and not tell me "everything is going to be alright." Because yeah, maybe it's true, but that's not what I need to hear. I want someone to find me and save me from this grave I've been dug into and literally tell me anything but "everything is going to be alright." Because I am blinded to the future where anything is ever "alright." Right now all I can see is the air disappearing around me and the belief that I will never be rescued and my only future is to become a fossil- not to be found for millions of years. 

I can't breathe. I'm trapped.

I need air. I need to be freed. 

But the air is like poison in my lungs. And freedom is caged beneath a sad soul disguised as a smiling face.