Love from the eyes of a manic pixie dream girl

This is the story of the time I fell in love. Before I can tell you that story though, let me tell you about the time my parents fell out of it. I was three when my dad moved out and naive me couldn't grasp what it meant. I didn't understand when my mom brought home a new man and she said they were in love because, weren't she and my dad still in love? And when my dad showed me his new apartment I couldn't figure out what was wrong with our house or why he couldn't just come home. See, at three divorce isn't something you could really understand. When I got older and experienced relationships for myself I thought you'd still love me when you left because fighting meant you loved me and leaving meant you loved me more, didn't it? I had become your therapist. You'd pencil me in when life went wrong and you were fighting with yourself again and when our sessions would end you'd leave me in my office, or in this case my bedroom, alone. You said, "I always like talking to you. You make me feel better." I took this as a sign of endearment but what you should have said is you like talking to me because in some crazy way I make you feel sane. That you like kissing me because for a moment you can forget everything aside from the dirty things you want to do to me. That you like sleeping with me because it helps you forget what you were even mad about. That you like leaving me because you know I'll always accept you when you return. You liked that even when you didn't love yourself I always would. See, you love to use me. For my time. For my energy. I was so naive I managed to convince myself you loved me because you could still love someone and leave. Unless you're me. I would stay no matter how long you were gone. Now here I am lying in the dark. Realizing the shadows of you that dance in my dreams are so different from the physicality of you lying between the sheets in this bed next to me. You could always give me your problems and I'd mistake it all for love. I was your manic pixie dream girl before I knew what it was.