Me = "FAKE"collection Agents Provocateurs

My checking account
currently barred and devoid of zest
experiences historical drought,
thus any heroic measures viz,
undergoing thee absolute best

financial care ablution,
e'en that most noblest
and cents able action
expunging charges, would be
seem counter productive

wishful thinking to in vest,
thus this Citizen
Banker, now vouchsafes,
(as he thrashes in throes)
of extreme emotional unrest,

and speculates intervening
triage emergency measures,
would be the last best
electric acid kool aid litmus test
to alleviate permanent psycho

logical damage or worse...
permanently affecting ability
for him to be himself and jest...,
exhale relief along the entire
amortization Common wealth

(plane as spreadsheet) embankment -
prayerfully yours truly
hates tubby a pest...,
but further pennilessness
would unexpectedly

doom maturation,
and hasten bankruptcy,
hence he hurriedly
writes this incomprehensible
gobbledygook

attempting to impersonate
legal minted missive
(so please pardon
any flabby bankrolls,
these fatty deposits 

figuratively accidental
faux pas to get worry off chest)
cuz, now at night
(or even during the day),
I can never rest

in peace, nor even if aye
scaled fully i.e.
ascended Mount Everest
lugging entire quite
thin monetary portfolio,

nonetheless accomplishing heartfelt
highly interesting fiduciary mandate
(told from loan officer),
not the least bit impressed
with every last ounce

of effort ambition reinforced,
plus with good luck amulet
ankh ring crampons,
but no matter such extreme steps

(anyway, say hypothetical principle
last ditch resort fell thru,
whereat unexpected unbalanced demise
of Matthew Scott Harris occurred),
and his disembodied soul

joined among grateful dead,
relentlessly wracking and
writhing, hence request
ting money matter duress
as ye probably

(and accurately) guessed
please exempt further payments,
cuz he (meaning I)
would feel immensely blessed
if remaining balance purged addressed

to CAP officer at
Citizen Bank World accessing credit cards: