Mental

Diagnosed with mentally afflicting conditions/
Why I'm often covered in addiction and buried in depression/
Suffacating conversations with judgemental complications/
Everyday Im waking up to a handful of medications/
It's fucking embarrassing/
I promise from this moment until my cremation to always make the decision that pushes me the most towards the desired position/
No one mentioned all the implications psychotic intentions have on all my current relations/
Like the one between myself and all other human beings currently visiting/
You can often find me regularly checked out day dreaming of all the things I'm missing now/
Only problem being we're unable to sometimes distinguish between the things outside my mind from the things inside my mind/
Just know Im sorry for everyone of you that's sat through the rollercoaster of my psychologically warped torture ride/
Think about it that's my life everyday except I often experience it alone waiting to decay/
I promise I didn't know the severity of things until just recently/
What I dont get is why nobody stopped me and explained it/
My thoughts I knew were never actually right which is why I put them on paper every night/
Finding comfort in the empty white when I write/
Putting together my thoughts every time I put together another rhyme beginning the next line/
Made up by this one of a kind mind remembering memories that often come to bother me/
Crafting my poetry from this heart/
Pieces of painted art hidden within a nameless poem/
The self portrait of a forgotten poet/
Doing this is the only thing holding together the already cracked barrier of a mind that's mentally uncertain/
Questioning when these moments will become psychotic turning against myself with the straight jacket lock ready ive accepted /