lea cobain .

i tend to feel sorry for myself.

i cry when you shout
the reason she thinks i cry is not even what the arguments about.
she has belittled me until i’ve become an ant
i question at times why am i here, at times i think i can’t.

she has twisted my thoughts to believe i am just mischief and a problem maker
she expects to have unlimited salt from me without providing any salt in the salt shaker.
i cant focus on myself, my mind continues to become blanker.

spare me my minds misery and just beat me
let my body feel the bruising and burning and let my mind be.
i never thought the words from my mother could be the only words that hurt me
i never thought i could have this much pain that my mother couldn’t see.

i will make it through your hurtful words until i am 18 and free
you’ll always have my unconditional love and my first houses spare key
when you can barely walk and you’re old and wrinkly
my years of childhood bullying from you won’t get in the way
my heart is more golden than yours and i will always stay.

“i love you more mommy”
are my words i always knew were more true than your “sorry”

Comments1

  • Tamara Beryl Latham - The Poet

    Lea, this poem is filled with the pain that you've silently endured over the years. Sounds as if you had a tormented life.

    Yet, maybe you are interpreting your Mother's love or her worrying about you as abuse.

    Things will be better when you're older or when you have a child of your own.

    At that time, you may appreciate that your Mom is probably yelling at you because she knows what's out there in the real world and she is only concerned for your welfare.

    Great write. Loved it! 🙂



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