I didn't know

I didn't know that everyone could hurt the way I do, I didn't know. The pain I feel could drown me if I let it, I didn't know. I'm not the golden girl my mom wants, I didn't know. I don't want to die I just need the pain to stop, I didn't know. It feels like the boulders are slowly being piled up on me, I didn't know. I'm lost in the shadows of everyone else, I didn't know. Nothing works anymore, I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who say they love me but none them hear me, they don't hear me when I scream for it all to STOP. I didn't know that even if you buy makeup and learn how to use it, you will still be ugly. I didn't know that even if the years passed that the pain could follow. Or that just because you don't eat you doesn't mean you'll lose weight it only means that you'll pass out after a few days. I didn't know just because you have your friends that you'll forget about the one that died. I didn't know just because someone dies that they still aren't there. I didn't know that no one can see your heart bleeding out on the floor. I didn't know therapy doesn't help, neither does talking about because everyone just looks at you like you're insane. I didn't know that crying just makes it worse. I didn't know that just because you were happy yesterday doesn't mean you'll be happy today.

I didn't know.