Thoughts..

arianthepoet

Am I depressed ? Vulnerable and distressed?

Nothing in my life is going well.

My life seems stuck.

Everything seems to be on hold.

Stagnant.

What do I do?

I have no one to talk or turn to.

God of course, but when will things go okay.

Can I have one good day?

Constantly feeling like a dissappointment.

Thoughts in my head that I failed in life already.

I’m only 18, Am I exaggerating ?

Hesitating on what the next step should be ?

My own family doesn’t support me.

Constantly putting me down.

They say it’s dark humor but for me it’s a nightmare.

Joking about me not having a job.

That makes me feel worthless.

They crack a smile and I crack one back

But deep down inside that smile is cracked.

Turned into a frown 

I just don’t show it

Its my pride and my vulnerability 

That tells me if I do, I’m weak.

I brush it off , sometimes I get aggressive 

Mainly I keep staying isolated.

In my room where no thoughts are confiscated.

In my own world, left alone 

Sometimes I feel like the only one in such a big home.

They treat me like I’m the fuck up.

Can I leave for the military so I can just pack up.

I need a fresh start. On my own. 

They say family is the most important.

But they can make you feel the most belittled.

I’m writing this to express to you 

My thoughts, feelings and point of view.

Little do they know what I’m going through.

  • Author: arianthepoet (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 10th, 2018 01:34
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 8
  • User favorite of this poem: SilverXball.
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