Apology

You walk in,

And I see you saying hello

to that smile on your face.

People smile back at you,

Everyone knows you as

The happiest girl in the world.

Silly carefree and beautiful.

I wonder what they would say

if I told them all I know about you.

I won't though, because a promise

is a promise regardless of whether

You or I believe in truth.

Even some of the ones you are closer to,

don't realize that your smile is fake.

I'll admit, it's carefully constructed.

Sometimes I wonder at how long

you must have labored, trying to

make it perfect. It worked. 

You light up any room you walk into.

 But still, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for it all.

I apologize for being your friends

and for still being too selfish to break it off.

We're sorry, we took your happiness to replace

our own everyday and forgot to leave any for you.

One is sorry she let you in her house. She didn't

expect you to take the blow for her.

Two is sorry she told you about the bullies. You

didn't have to get involved. You don't have to feel

like prey too.

Three is sorry she told you she didn't

remember happiness. She didn't realize you'd give her

your own to replace it.

Four is sorry she can't be anything

but cynical. She cries over the fact that she now knows

she tore down your positivity, till you were left a shell.

Five is sorry she didn't notice sooner. Five berates herself for

not taking her part in it all, for not helping you carry yourself.

Six is sorry you can't touch her for more than ten seconds.

She knows it kills you when you can't hug or kiss her.

Seven is sorry that she was the first one you helped.

She'd rather have stayed broken than be watching you fall

down the same rabbit hole as all your friends.

She knows more than any of the us what it's like at the bottom.

I am sorry.

I'm sorry that I never realized you broke yourself

each time you fixed us.

I'm sorry I can't even tell you this

to your face.

I'm sorry none of us can stop leeching off you.

I'm sorry you gave up all your friends that would have known

what to do when you broke down yesterday.

I'm sorry.

None of us know what to do with you.

You gave us a taste of beauty.

But now we're either too scared or just don't know how to give it back.

I'm sorry