Midnight Raid

I pulled it off and no one knows.
There is no evidence to show.
I covered all my midnight tracks
by treading softly on the cracks
that always make a popping sound
which meant that I'd for sure be found
with jelly on my face.

At midnight I sat up in bed
with Killer Dave's delicious bread
cavorting through my sleepy head.
A little peanut butter, too.
Perhaps some peach preserves will do
to make this quite the night.

The essence of this midnight raid
is all about attention paid
to little things that could go wrong;
a light that's on a bit too long,
a metal spoon that hits the floor.
Catastrophes galore!

But on this night there was success!
In fact, this may have been the very best
food pantry raid I've ever done.
There's not a clue, not even one
to give away my stealthy quest.
This raid surpasses all the rest.

What's that, my dear?  What did you say?
A dirty spoon is in the tray?
No, no, my love!  It wasn't me!
Recall my peanut butter allergy?
And I don't like the peach preserves.
    Oh, no!  Wrong word!

Alas, my raiding days are passed.
I guess good things just cannot last.
A workman comes at two o'clock
to fit a brand new kitchen lock.
I'd try again, but what the heck,
she wears the key around her neck.