Invisible Future...... Present Heartache

White subway tiles, 

trains racing by. 

The clickity-clack of the wheels against the tracks. 

My tears dry, staining my face,

scarring my broken heart. 

You know I want you,

but our hands are tied and I don't know how to tell you.....

I don't know how to control the thundering beat in my chest when you smile at me.

The stolen glances, eyes full of wanting.

Dreams of love and reality clash,

my mind and heart divided.

Could you ever be mine?

Could you ever love a doll so broken?

One with a band-aided heart, pieces falling out of place. 

One with a black spreading disease of anger

that reaches for friends and loved ones and tugs until their strings break, 

leaving them in tears. 

So I'm leaving.

This town, this heart, this life. 

Trying to be happy is a mask everyone wears,

that I wear. 

Waiting to experience the heartbreak I already feel whispers of. 

Do you like me?

Or am I just another girl, blind in-love?

But I can't say I'm even that....

Just desperate for everything I don't have. 

Even you... 

Especially you.