Forsaken

This time of year really gets to me

I believe that the Jewish people are correct in their belief of fake holidays

Last November, I was in Chico prancing around in booty shorts and rubber boots..turning heads of so many beautiful boys..

I went to visit my prostitute friend who I have known for twenty two years...she paid for me to go there and expected me to have all kinds of money that I didn't have..so, she made me walk the streets which ended up being a crazy fun time

I was robbed twice of all of my earthly possessions..well, a lot of them anyway.

I was engaged, or so I thought to a guy I have been through it with for many years...

Had I known that by December he would have forsaken me, I would have swallowed my fears and eaten up every ounce of attention I was getting in a more physical kind of way..

To this day, I am unsure of why he has forsaken me and all of our plans

But, I leave it all in the hands of my Creator

To the Gods and Goddesses

To the Spirits Divine

I throw it now into the flames that burn right where I was this time last year

It was all just his fucked up way of doing things for it was done to him over and over ever since his departure from his real Mothers womb

He was adopted three times and the two that he ended up with are both witches from different lands

I have been forsaken by him now again at the hands of their false idolatry with all their Bruja reindeer games

This has happened to us again and again

They don't condone he and I even being brothers or best friends 

Instead, they would rather all see him forsaken after they all go

I once made a promise to her that I would take care of him after she is gone

But, that promise was never really to her

I tried to include her in everything he and I were engaged in, which was truly a stupid thing for me to do

What really sucks, is that it has happened before

I was actually dumb enough to believe that she would willingly pull her fat ass up into the figure eight of infinity along with the rest of us

But, it so happens that I was wrong 

I was completely out of my mind for allowing her in this last time around

I was convinced that somehow that bitch had found some sort of peace within herself

I forget that she has been forsaken by most of her blood as well

They most likely finally said " to Hell with her" like I have..I personally understand exactly why now

I know a lot of things that I guess I never did while I was close to him

God must have something to do with why he went away

Or, maybe him forsaking me was the price that I had to pay for something else

So, now my debt has been paid but I still have him lingering in my brain...

Perhaps, he has not forsaken me at all....

11/12/2018