I'm Fine

When people say they're sad,
Or that they have been crying,
I feel a strange surprise,
And within a desperate sighing.

Not because they're sad,
Or because I wonder why,
But more because I'm thinking,
"You tell others when you cry?"

Because you see I thought,
It's something you keep secret,
Something you never tell,
Locked away, so no one sees it.

When I cry, I hide, 
And If my eyes are red, 
I fake a yawn so that they think
I'm simply tired instead

When they ask me how I feel,
And I really feel like death,
I'll tell them, "good thanks, how are you?"
Lying with each breath.

So when someone is open,
When someone is brave,
I never quite know how to act,
Never mind what to say.

I feel anger rise inside me, 
When someone is truthful
About how they are feeling,
It makes me almost ill

I wish I had more courage, 
And didn't feel such shame,
I wish I didn't try to hide,
Brush my feelings away.

I wish I could be strong,
Tell others how I am,
But I suppose my mind 
Has been trained to scam.

I've always lived in fear, 
Of being judged and hated,
Ostracized for what I feel, 
To lie with breath that's bated

There's always been a darkness, 
Deep inside my soul
A monster in the shadows, 
That out to me would call

He tells me to be silent, 
To never say a word
Tell them things that frankly
Always sound absurd

Tell them all "I'm perfect, 
of course I don't have scars!"
"I haven't spent my life,
fighting vicious wars!"

"I've never thought of death,
Of leaving life behind.
Of course I don't need help,
I've told you, I'm just fine!"

So I suppose I'm jealous, 
of people who are free,
To speak out when something is wrong,
Who are so different to me.

They tell so many people, 
What's inside of them,
Instead of hiding in the dark, 
Fiddling with a hem.

But now I've said all this, 
It's possible you think,
That I have something wrong with me,
That I am on the brink

So I must assure you,
I'm perfectly alright,
There's no need for concern at all,
I'm sorry for the fright!

Because you see I'm perfect,
Of course I don't have scars!
I've never thought of dying,
I've never fought a war.

Everything is fine,
I don't need help, I'm not fake.
So please don't ask again
Or else... I just might break....