Anchors Aweigh...Destination Unknown

Weather beaten cap'n,

and watertight bewitched craft

time tested since maiden voyage

(circumnavigating the globe

back in the day

of my youth),

I ranked tough as a pitbull,

when severely pitted

against raw elements

of swiftly tailored,

harried stylish nature

against leathery faced

reptilian skin, hard drinking

(actually as corked

poetic convenience - vermouth

arbitrary bottle of choice

if for no other reason,

than to rhyme

with the above line),

and tobacco spitting, while

colorfully swearing as an uncouth

Furies (of Agamemnon) fighting (tooth

and nail) Pirate,

where rickets, scurvy,

and thrice unconscious,

currently ample proof

could not forsooth

bring me to

Davy Jones's locker,

cuz I never wanna

get relegated to an underwater

whale schooled booth,

this raconteur can nonchalantly,

glibly, and blithely attest,

with braggadocio, despite

no warm welcome will

ever greet mine tinnitus

pained ears, I can plainly

imagine acrimonious retort

upon me behest

his far more'n lifetime

bobbing (like a sponge)

buoyed atop crest

longing e'en for

(carping, caviling, hen pecking,

or shrewish) wife,

and loving family

forsaken, sans living

antisocial upon briny deep divest

many opportunities to

experience wedded, webbed

and whirled bliss,

and hence for everest

as bachelor, especially

at present junction

of twilight years,

my crude manners

makes foreign (for

an) ill suited guest

boot e'en if yours truly

became inured to life on land,

(as a "FAKE" father figure

feathering his nest

my coarse behavior, as basic

electric koolaid acid test

would force even

the most tolerant proprietor,

perhaps a bank

manager at Univest

would utter VAMOOSE,

e'en if eye covered up

my heavily pierced,

and tattooed breast.