sweet goodbye

first merry Christmas

i hope all the little ones got what they wanted on there wish list.

we never had money like that but we still had good presents 

but if the world ran off love we would not have been the modern day peasants.

though we fought 

ill love all of you forever and always like that book mom used to read i hope you have not forgot.

every time i think of the past it hurts my heart you all i ever had that was real why cant the pain just stop.

I guess I always knew this day would come.

and it does not matter how fast i could run 

time waits for no man I thought i could be strong enough but my heart aches I truly think im done.

at a young age i looked forward to growing older.

wish i didnt have to lose my closest warm and play full summers replaced  with 

the coldest winters and even colder shoulders.

We grew up with our on struggles but we had each other 

in a van with no heater all we had was a blanket to keep warm we cuddled.

I grew and i never wanted to be the one who grew to be disappointed 

I  something that looked like it would help us I joined it.

Never wanted to be the life of just sit down and settle 

now im in a prison and its all mental.

I learned life is just how much bullshit you can take

This mental prison effects me physically and i plan to escape.

You all out grew me, ill remember you forever even when it makes my heart ache.

I love you I wish it meant more to you one day it might you'll see why

when you taste the salt from your tears 

that's when you received the sweetest good byes