Queen

I close my eyes
And count to 11,
Cause 10 never seems enough.
I clench my hands
And pray for a heaven,
Cause sometimes life feels too tough.

I stretch my lips,
To make an impression,
Though it looks more like a sneer.
I bare my teeth,
A sign of aggression,
Though it seems to display more fear.

I fight and I fight and I fight,
Just to get one thing right.
But mistakes are made,
My debts left unpaid,
So I fall back into the night.

I strain my ears,
To drown out the voices,
Of the people who judge me still.
You'd think that after,
All of my choices,
They'd see I have my own will.

I hold my breath,
And wait for a moment,
To see if anyone brings me aid.
I hold my sign,
A plea for atonement,
But its foreign and poorly made.

I try and I try and I try,
I swear the last thing I'll do is cry.
But I'm all alone,
In a world of clones,
So I simply do my best to get by.

I raise my head,
And search through the skies,
For a pair of wings I can take.
I dig the ground,
For a hole to hide,
But it all just feels so fake.

I take the brick,
I'm handed each day,
And toss it on the pile behind.
Others build towers,
Or castles on their way,
But my wreck has its own design.

I throw and I throw and I throw,
Thinking that something will grow.
But I'm left with just,
A wasted pile of dust,
So I ignore my crumbled foe.

I lift my hands
And spread out the fingers,
Staring at my polished tips.
But down the sides,
And under the nails,
Secrets and lies lay thick.

I look ahead
And stare in the mirror,
Regarding the monster before me.
Not the kind that kills,
Or makes people shiver,
Just an odd creature with no story.

I search and I search and I search,
For a life less left in the lurch.
But there's nothing left,
Though I did my best,
I've had enough of the beast that emerged.

I fall down deep,
Straight to the bottom,
Of a black and ravenous pit.
I find the bones,
Of ones now forgotten,
Who worked out they just didn't fit.

I crawl around,
Spirals and spirals,
Spinning till dizziness stops me.
There's no way out,
It just seems so final,
I didn't think this was where I would be.

I yell and I yell and I yell,
But I ran out of air and I fell.
So come lay me down,
I deserve a crown,
I'm the Queen of my personal Hell.