Harumph To Holiday Hoopla – Phis Pshaw!

Relieved of fatherhood Saint

Nick schtick found me

to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away zee bras

like padding and "FAKE flowing beard,

ah...don't remind me,

those well worn faux paws

of each dear deer (hooping Rudolf would

set precedent as every other reindeer hoof

dost not get cleft out in the cold) withdraws

not to budge like...a Mexican stonewall

contractual obligations grudgingly negotiated,

(especially citing animal abuse as insanity clause),

while angrily clattering rooftop

to rooftop, without pause,

what, and me forcing those strenuous hee haws

(hint to potential dada's, that ledger domain

promising humongous gifts gets old fast,

generating nuttin boot lockjaws

(other Kris Kringles would agree),

where haggard overworked (underpaid)

frequently threatening unionized joining

posse to become outlaws

migrant elves lose stamina to applause

the jolly ho ho ho role of Santa Claus,

and to a lesser extent return (like new -

with store tag) Easter Bunny suit, defacto

birthday party planner, et cetera,

oh...almost forgot tooth fairy -

ouch! that took a bloody bite out of finances,

hence needed heavy duty gauze,

yet now this papa merely draws

lipservice joy to the world Bobe myseh,

aye yie yie despite punishing, nee

turning into filet mignon, those who poo poo

those culturally grafted pagan grand Poobahs

face lash, and quickly get

smote with invisible taws

particularly any

antiestablishmentarianism

leftist southpaws,

no matter poetically wry ming spewed cents

ability uttered from courtesy

minority reporting maws,

(case in point dexterously yours truly)

laments glaring flaws,

not only of those unaccountable booking costs

driving Earthly unaffordable

materialistic capitalistic jaws,

no matter (albeit

more quiet and somber),

I breathe sigh of

relief to escape naws

zee hating crass mass foofaraws,

and beat hasty retreat from pandemonium

(part and UPS parcel)

fueling manufacturing factories

producing widgets, trinkets, gewgaws,

et cetera subsequently giving employmen

(reed nepotism) opportunities

to aunts, uncles in-laws

of management (a perk

found most objectionably

with he who doth trumpet

deed duck shins

to needy) re: yule stated

Taj Mahal family cause,

but to enrich the coffers

of salivating power hungry

(jibber jabber) money grubbers

brandishing chainsaw

to cut down farmed Christmas trees,

where dollar signs

spin each eyeball rubbed raws,

this minor manifesto

concludes as welcome retreat,

where stale Yuletide saws

reverberate warbled carolers

punctuating psalm songs with ews ah ahs!