Cali Kittana

Bitter Cold

December seems colder without you

Every year that passes

Is another without your love.

My lungs can feel the bitter cold

 

The holidays are less fun

They say time will help me

But all it's done is hurt.

The floor today is a bitter cold

 

Knowing that you're gone is hard

I remember the first confession

Despite not saying it back.

My heart feels bitter cold

 

I can feel your spirit around me

It's been four years now

It still feels like just yesterday.

Blue is bitter cold

 

I wonder what would have happened

If I had said yes

Or if things had progressed.

The keyboard is bitter cold

 

I often think of how we acted

The things you would say

The ways you would tease me.

Duct tape is bitter cold

 

Falling in love again is impossible

I need a sign of approval

You telling me "He's the one, move on".

Love is a bitter cold

 

I try to understand why

Your suicide still haunts me

You were so young.

You were bitter cold

 

Could I have stopped you

The last thing you said to me

Your "I'm sorry" still hurts.

I feel bitter cold

 

You said you'd never leave

That you would always be here

I can still feel you protecting me.

Spirits are a bitter cold

 

I get signs from you

Like that singular puzzle

The only one with a wolf.

Mid-December is bitter cold

 

People notice the difference

I seem colder, unapproachable

This month is always hard.

Life is bitter cold

 

I know you're still here

Somewhere, somehow

You've touched me.

My hand feels bitter cold

 

I have the last picture

The last one you took

It's hard to look at.

Secrets are bitter cold

 

I found out a month late

Why didn't he tell me sooner

He knew you cared for me.

Cousins are bitter cold

 

The pure snow reminds me of heaven

You always said you didn't believe

I wonder if being there has changed it.

My wings feel bitter cold.

 

I poured my heart and soul

Into this poem, into this bracelet

I continue to try the song.

My tears are bitter cold

 

I've already forgotten your voice

But I'll never forget our memories

I refuse to forget you any further.

The memories are bitter cold

 

You'd want me to be happy

I was always such a free spirit

Please send me someone grounded.

Running feels bitter cold

 

You always show me the way

If he's wrong, if she's cruel

You were my other half.

Feelings are bitter cold

 

You were my Valentine

Despite hating the "holiday"

I appreciated your vents.

Holidays are bitter cold

 

Please send me another sign

I miss your presence

Let me know where to go.

Confusion is bitter cold

 

Even though I can still feel you

I know you're not there

I never wanted you to leave.

Goodbyes are bitter cold



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