Emilie

I couldn’t, wouldn’t do it 
Even if it cost me 
Everything I had worked for 

She stood in front of me 
Beckoning, it was ok 
She knew the price 

All eyes were on me
Would I do it? 
How could it be ok? 

My own eyes were on me
My soul was watching itself 
No, my brain, muscles and spine were 
Aligned 

In the middle of that arena 
On that mat
I spun that kick 

Too short
Too slow
Too low

I couldn’t hit her
It was against everything 
Every grain, every lesson 

But there was something else
I loved her 
My first love 

As my head turned 
Milliseconds before my heel 
I saw her 

She had moved
Shorter, faster, lower 
Towards me 

My heel connected 
With her perfect nose 
But she didn’t go down 

I grabbed her
Against protocol
Profusely apologizing 

She smiled amidst the blood 
And said “I can take a hit, 
“You didn’t knock me down” 

My first love 
Stepped into a kick 
So I could get a black belt at 12

            -What has your love done for you?