There Is Nothing Special About Me

I wish I could see in the dark
That would be so fucking neat
If I could see in the dark
I'd be fearless in the street

I'd walk alone for a while
It would be just like in the day
Walking alone for miles and miles
Oh well I do that anyway

I could wear my sunglasses
That would be so fucking rad
I could wear my sunglasses
And look like a douchebag

But why on Earth should I care
If only I could see at night
Nobody would see me
Unless there were streetlights

I wish I could breathe underwater
That would be so fingerfucking neat
If I could breathe underwater
I'd be swimming in the coral reef

I'd have to learn to be aware
Of the above and below in the sea
It would be so nice floating there
Maybe I would finally feel peace

I could buy myself some SCUBA gear
And throw it away as a joke
I would be such a riot at the beach
Pretending to drown and choke

Maybe I would grow a dorsal fin
Or maybe have a special surgery
But I don't think that's been done before
I'm imagining it ending cursory

What if I could raise the dead
Wouldn't that be fucking nuts
I don't think they'd all come back right
Missing parts like their arms and guts

I bet a lot would be real confused
Where am I in this time and place
Who even am I and who are you
There must be some kind of mistake

But I'd be sure to show some around
Show them back to their families
Show them through the streets and through town
Maybe ask about their fatalities
Oh who the hell am I kidding
With all these fucking fantasies