I don't know

I feel like my life is a lie
no not the people in it
or their claims to care about me
but the fact that I can never understand why I feel the way I feel
or why I want to die
but I don't want to kill myself
I would prefer it if I never existed
but since I can't change the fact that I was born
a selfish, melodramatic, egocentric, peice of shit
that feels to much
but doesn't care about anyone except herself
I wonder why I'm here
But then I think about the friends I made
the people that care
the people that love me
and I think
life might not be so bad