Churning

My mind is a machine of repetitive motion

consistently returning to the same emotion

Beautiful, brilliant, perfect, surreal

I can't help but think this isn't real.

That I'll rub my eyes and awaken from this dream

Disappointed at last, mind churning with what could have been

When I'm with her, I'm a child again

Unsure, nervous and full of indecision

I want what's best for her, that's what I know

Whether that includes me, I can only hope.