I created a reality

I created a reality in my mind

I knew it would never come true, but

I sure thought it felt like it

We had it all:

The shared jokes, the cute winks

which I mistook for flirting

the long, tight hugs

I always got a fuzzy feeling when I saw you, 

when you spoke to me, when you touched me

That part was real 

But only for me

Deep in my mind I knew it was fabricated

But my feelings have a mind of their own

I loved spending time with you

You made me happy


Then we went on vacation

You do not understand how much I missed you

It was like an empty space in my heart

I knew I liked you so bad


When we came back, I was so excited to see you

But I felt something had changed

You found another friend and all the things you did with me, 

you did with her

And that was when I knew I had done it again

The reality that was in my mind

was not the reality we shared

Every time I see you with her,

I feel a pang in my chest

So I drew away from you

You were oblivious to the things going on in my mind

But you felt the disconnect too

Only you had the courage to ask

I tried to get the words out, 

but I couldn't

I couldn't tell you that I am

jealous of the way you're happy without me.


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