I am sorry too

Am I too much or not enough?

I just wanted to make you happy.

People lose interest in people like me,

I stepped far from shore then got lost at sea.

I just wish I knew when

I became too hard to keep.

I just want to be okay again.

I just want to go to sleep.

I felt and still feel

this void deep in my heart

I can’t lie, I gave up.

Apathy makes better art.

But know that it was not your fault,

I let myself too close.

I just always end up caring more

now I ramble in morose.

But there is a problem in this air that I know is not mine.

I see your eyes glazed over as you tell them that you’re fine.

And that, darling, breaks my heart more than anything.

Because I still want you to sing.

I still want you to sing.

It’s just that when I see you all the time, I know you're better without me

I don’t think you a monster- and you will never be.

You should not feel bad for something that you feel.

It’s okay. I cared more, I’ll wrap my heart and try to heal.

I am goddamn selfish to say it hurts to see you smile

although I cannot lie and say that it’s not true.

I know you for an angel and your veins are far from vile

And when I tell you to be happy, it’s all I want from you.

(Surely-to see you okay is such a bitter sweet

But, my dear, I would burn in fire just for you to warm your feet

I would throw a blade directly to my chest

Just so I can’t write poetry and you could get some rest.)

I’m sorry for the guilt

I know I made you feel.

My words, they make things worse and

Don’t help either of us heal.

So please do not feel bad for the things that you have done.

Do not live in guilt. Your life has just begun.

I would throw a blade directly to my chest

Just so I can’t write poetry and you could get some rest.

...

Now please go get some rest.