Eravaash

Self Reflection

They told me everything was going to be alright.
Grow older, get wiser, work a job and shine bright.
All the things you wished for would be true.
Nothing would go wrong, so long as you stay you.

Yet what many told me was mere fantasy.
Instead of joy I seem to live in tragedy.
Going through my day to day feeling numb.
The only way to cope being to hum, that

Song that once symbolised eternal youth.
Yet a sorror truth, to
The ever-growing story is that nobody cares about you.
Despite all you do. Despite all that you do.
I am feeling so lost.

Oh, ever so lost.

I don't mean to push my burdens upon your own day.
And I am sorry if I don't know what the hell I want to say.
But I feel as if I am slowly degrading into a shell.
Living in what seems to be my own personal Hell.

I can't begin to understand why I hate myself so dear.
And what is it in life that I increasingly fear, yet.
I can't help but feel like I ain't doing nothing good.
I can't help but feel like I am not doing what I should, so I.

Fall into the song that captures my youth,
But the unfortunate truth, is.
Nobody gives a damn about you.
Despite all you do. Despite all that you do.
I am feeling so lost.

Oh, ever so lost.
Oh, so very lost.

I loathe in my own self hatred.
I deserve not an ounce of compassion.
I deserve nothing more than angry remarks, And people's hatred towards me.

Ooh, I hate myself.
For I don't see any redeeming qualities in myself.
I don't see any sort of future for myself.
I don't even deserve but a single smile to myself.

And so, as the night draws, I hum that

Song that embodies my non eternal youth.
Yet the sorrow truth, to
This ever-growing nightmare is that nobody cares about you.
Despite all you do. Despite all that you do.
I am feeling so lost.

Oh, ever so lost.

And should you give in to your inner self, and allow yourself to end it all.
Nobody will be there to pick you up as you fall.

Even though you have wonderful friends and family who care so damn much about you.
Your ignorance will be your downfall, and when you go nobody will miss you.

Nobody will miss you.
Nobody will miss you.
Nobody.
Will miss you.

Comments2

  • delaneynichols

    this really captures what you're feeling. descriptive, so i can get a glimpse at your emotions. i love this.

    • Eravaash

      Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it highly!

    • sylviasearcher

      I hope that writing this provided some catharsis.
      I could feel a push and pull between wanting to believe and hope and apathy and self loathing.

      I hope you have moments when you can keep hold of hope 🌟

      • Eravaash

        The poem was very therapeutic to me. I thank you for the great feedback. I hope, aswell, I can find some glimpse of hope in myself. Admittedly, I perhaps lead myself into my own frustrations, but seeing as I don't know how nor know how to cope with the stress, I don't know any other way other than my own self degradation.

        Regardless, thank you again.

        • sylviasearcher

          Well if you ever want to talk it out and have a non judgmental ear to listen while you find a new ending...

          Best wishes 🌟



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