Heartless Love

"You'll never understand" she said, as her voice faded to a whisper.

"I do understand." he replied, "I get it, you are going through a rough patch. You will get better, everyone does."

That was it, she had heard enough,

"No. Stop right there, you don't understand at all.

You don't even have the slightest clue."

She was furious, how could he say that to her?

"You weren't in that hospital room, watching someone you love so dearly slip away.

You weren't there holding her hand praying that God would do some miracle and let her live.

You weren't there watching the terrified looks on everyone's face as they took her off life support.

You didn't hear the doctors say she wouldn't live but a few more days.

You weren't lying on that recliner, while everyone else was asleep, listening to her breathe, or try to breathe on her own.

You didn't sit there and listen to her breaths become distant, and faint.

You didn't stay up all night talking to her, knowing that what you said would be the last conversation y'all would have.

You didn't see the pain in every one's eyes when they ran out of tears.

You don't understand.

And I honestly hope you never do.

Because it sucks.

And the hardest part of it all is not that she's gone, it's knowing that you will never hear her voice again.

You will never look into her beautiful dark brown eyes.

The hardest part is living without her.

And people around you expect you to be okay.

But you can't just up and get over someone like that.

So don't tell me that you understand when you clearly don't." 

"It's been four months. He replied pleadingly, "I need your attention too." 

She shook her head, as a tear ran down her face, she looked at him and said, "I can't give you the attention you need.

I can't give you my heart, because it's not whole."

Her voice was shaky,

"From the day I become her granddaughter, she had my heart, and when she died, so did parts of it. I'm sorry, I just don't know if I'm capable of the kind of love you deserve. 

Half love, isn't worth having. I'm so sorry"