snip

queer-with-a-pen

i had top surgery

on Monday the 28th

and i hardly remember any

of it

 

that morning my grandmother

woke me up

said she loved me

my grandfather asked if he could

pray for me

 

and the night before we had

toasted to a speedy recovery

with white russians

which I still think smell

like sharpie markers

but that might be just me

 

and i didn’t call my father

he didn’t know the date

the day and hour

when i would go under the knife

for the first and only time

 

it’s been a few weeks since

i last shaved

and hairs are finally starting to

appear under my bottom lip

and this time i will not

panic because of how much

i resemble him

 

because my granny in texas

said i was handsome like him

and that almost made me cry

but also lessened the sting

of his absence

 

and a hole that feels less gaping

having nothing to do with the

breast tissue that was cut out of me

the steri-strips and incisions on my sides

to accommodate the drains

like they’re taking out more than blood

and viscous fluid

 

the hurt from him

grows less as my chest

my male chest

heals more each day

 

and i don’t think of how

he maybe won’t recognize me

one day and that’s okay

maybe for the best

 

because i am so much more

than the daughter

and then the son

he did not want

nor know how to love

 

i am growing into my

own man that i was always

meant to be

 

and it feels so good

making a place in this

body that finally feels like home

  • Author: Boaz Priestly (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 6th, 2019 16:44
  • Category: Letter
  • Views: 80
  • User favorite of this poem: luckykarma.
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Comments3

  • Neville

    I found these words quite by accident while mooching around here this evening.. I am glad I stumbled upon them in such a way... to be honest, the more I read, the more impressed I was with them.. I found them emotionally charged but blunted, if that makes any sense... you tell a story that had a reality to it that made me draw breath sharply through clenched teeth and quite a few times... I dont know whether the details are autobiographical or fiction.. at the end of the day, it does not really matter, I thoroughly enjoyed my visit... Neville

    • queer-with-a-pen

      Welcome to my poetry, Neville! All of my work is very much autobiographical. I just got my drains out at the hospital, and am wearing a t-shirt for the first time since the 28th of last month!

      I hope you continue to visit my poetry! 😀

      • Neville

        Good morning.
        yes, I may read more certainly and hope all is going well for you

        All Good Things,

        Neville

      • psychofemale

        powerful. glad you are at peace.

        • queer-with-a-pen

          Thank you so much for reading my work, and so much for your kind words! I am absolutely more at peace than I ever have been in my body. It’s a new feeling that I absolutely love.

        • luckykarma

          I just found this website by accident and this is the very first poem on here I read.... and it absolutely took my breath away.

          • queer-with-a-pen

            I am deeply honored that mine was the first poem you read, and hope you are inspired to read more



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