Survive

13 life was fine, I was happy
A Carefree mind.
I spent most days with a smile on my face
A young cat with no regret, yet in this case.
Then Something happened
My father he disappeared
Life was so confusing,
Why wasn't he here?
Why did this happen to me?
Where did he go?
Around and Around these questions would flow.
What did I do?
What should I change?
Do you still love me?
These questions I would ask myself DAILY.

As days went by they became shorter
As days went by I started to loiter
Loiter my feelings
Loiter my time,
Now I'm 14 laying in my bed drunk this time.
I didn't want to talk
I didn't want to listen
I was just the girl who was put aside.
Eating me alive
slurring my words
No one wanted to listen when I was ready to describe,
So I drank and put everything on the line.

I am 15 and I've had more drinks than I should
It's my birthday and everyone is here that could.
My friends
Their friends,
My Family
but why am I unhappy?
I'm 15 it's late, it's still my birthday
The night my friend let his friend take my privacy.
I'm 15 I hate what I see
I'm 15 I hate myself, this body.
So I ask myself, why me?
I'm 15 so I try some pills
The alcohol will no longer stop these chills.
I'm 15 drugs are my new thing,
The only item that will hold my string.
The string to my life
The string to my dignity.
No one will listen
They all blame me.

I'm 16, I party alot
I'm 16 and I could care less about being called a "thot."
I'm 16 and people bully me,
I'm just trying to live my life peacefully
I'm 16 but the drugs fix me.
I'm 17 my bestfriend died
I'm 17 and I'm screaming, "this has to be a lie."
I'm 17 and I'm standing by his grave,
I'm trying to hear his voice in the wind
No one answers,
So I confess my sins.
I'm 17 with so little pride
I'm 17 and I realize I need to survive.
Survive for Trey
Survive For me, myself, and I.

Im 18 I stopped doing drugs
I'm 18 and I still drink more than I should.
I'm 18 I'm getting life together
I'm 18 and I'm pregnant with my daughter.
I'm 19 a beautiful girl was born,
an angel was put into this evil world.
I promised her to give her protection
I promised to teach her prevention.
I'm 19 I am now a mother,
I'm 19 and all I need is this glass of wine.
I'm 19 and I am just fine.
No more drunken Nights
No more popping pills,
I have a little girl to strive for
I have a little girl to provide for.
I had to grow up fast, but now look at me sore.

©tiffarnold