Christmas Light Arrangement

Sitting in a brown leather chair, warmed by the setting sunlight that now warms my face,
I imagine being thin and happy and beautiful for the first time in forever.
And I imagine you the way you already are; perfect.
I imagine thinking nothing will go wrong and vowing to keep it that way forever.
                     After all, I said it to you before anyone else
…that they’ll know we love each other unlike I did of my parents.

I imagine asking you before this pictured day how you dream it,

so to accommodate both of our mere daydreams.
After years of thinking and coming just within reach of making it real,
To be let down by myself.
Just me.
But not in this perfect world I want to see.
We drove around looking at Christmas lights,

and at that moment I realized that’s only something I do with the people I love,
so there it was decided.

But I’m just imagining,
      call me crazy,
            call me lovestruck,
                  call me every young girl that ever fell in love.

I’ll see you there. Even if only in my thoughts.