but I’m happy now

There are the times where I can look back through the tinted glass and smile at the memories.

There are times where the same whirlwind of images are a stab to the centre of my chest.

I feel the pain in every fibre of my being. My heart aches, my stomach aches, the places where you used to touch me now numb.

Numb.

There are times when I truly love the new boy.

And there are times I wish it wasn’t him.

There are times it doesn’t hurt.

Times I am truly happy.

But they can be overshadowed in a second.

By your presence, by your smile, by the way I wish things were still as they were.

Am I bad?

I always was.

For you.