Reeling

Voices are often ringing, 

Sometimes even singing.

That my demise is near,

Making the fear, 

Rise up in my throat. 

Anxiety engulfing me, 

Even seeming to lull me. 

I have made so much progress, 

Only to fall back into the same old routine. 

Being insecure and scared, 

I just let it take me. 

It coddles me, 

Attack after attack the thoughts still swimming, 

in the pool that is my mind. 

"What is it like to be okay?" 

A question I ask myself everyday, 

I have never known that feeling. 

Amidst the depression and my ever reeling anxiety, 

I contemplate that unknown sensation. 

I reach for it to only fall short, 

It taunts me from the light. 

But yet the shadows grip so tight, 

They seem to never loosen, 

Which makes me think they'll miss me, 

So I just let them take me.