exactly one vicious time loop

3/18/19 1/07AM

rise, die, awake

shake off the cobwebs

stumble sober into work

drink coffee so your quaking hand

of disdain looks like caffeine

move this there, 

then clean that here, 

now paint these here

and move

rise, die, awake

stare at the ceiling

until it becomes something warmer

than your bed

and float into it like a coddling nebula

so that you may be reborn

for a day of moving, sweeping the same

old dust you scattered the day before

rise, die, awake

drive your car and then wake up

to find the night terrors beginning again

move your dirt

and stay in your place

hope that you’ll fall through the ice

into the lake

rise, die, awake

where did you go wrong

but more importantly

why did you end up leaving

and why does her voice

still make your heart flutter

if it makes your brain crumple

so move on

to better swept floors

and don’t think about it

rise, die, awake

fill your chest with hot air

bone blossoms

feign growth in the wrong places

and still stop thinking

so you keep moving

and pushing the same old dirt around

like there’s an answer

and you’ll find it the next day

rise, die, awake

leave one night terror

for another daily

the world around you stopped

trying to be fruitful

and decided to eat itself instead

maybe another cup of coffee

rise, die, awake

make a list of all the things

not to think about

so you can think about them

don’t forget

what you shouldn’t think about

and keep moving

and pushing

that old dust around