Remenincing

I wake up in the morning feeling like I've done wrong.

Walk past the noose thats been hanging for so long.

Take out the trash that I've been meaning to do.

As I reminence on older memories of you...

 

Oh, how you used to be so naive,

So encouraged by the simplest things.

Inventing games and riddles from your wildest dreams.

 

But as your grew older, you became even colder.

A distant shell of your imaginative self.

Now a broken husk that you call yourself.

 

I cant help but feel like I had something to do,

With what has become of you.

Wouldn't you say thats true?

 

I mean, I held your emotions,

Gave you motivation,

Yet you feel so empty despite my devotion.

 

I know we cant go back.

To simpler times of long ago.

And I know you wish to go back.

But you know you cant ever go.

I am sorry.

 

I am sorry for being a pathetic form.

I am sorry for not being adequate enough.

I am sorry for not being the body for your soul.

Your and my own soul.

 

And as I look into the remains of the shattered window,

Wipe away the blood from my face.

Scream at myself for being such a damn failure

As I beg for you to take my place.

 

For I

Cannot live any longer

Life is hard.

Life is stressful.

 

I know I am simply talking to myself.

In hopes through my words I can find redemption.

That, hopefully I can become a better self.

Through self degradation.

 

But, I already know the answer.

And no matter how hard I try.

I crawl in my bed all the more faster

Curl up in the corner and cry

 

Moonlight shines down once again, my friend.

I bid you farewell and goodnight.