“Hate living with demons cause they always inviting more” - J.Cole

When the horror began to fade

Another soul swallowing monster camped under my safe place

Making himself at home

Gaining access to my forcefield of trust

Planting seeds for a garden that could only be grown in the dark

Perversion feeding them daily

No shit, the signs were obvious & I was naive

But I continued to deniably shrug them off

There’s something about your instincts, creating an empty pit in your stomach when you just know

The devil is coming back for the family reunion soon enough

The apple indeed, doesn’t fall too far from the shriveled tree

In this case, one Apple hung by a hair

Just enough to absorb the sickness of child infatuation

The peace to my chaos 

Spread another chunky layer of pain on my dry ass sandwich

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth

Speechless involuntarily

A base voice overpowered the thoughts overwhelming day to day emotions

How did I get here

Who is this, wa-wait, 

My first brother figure

I’ll whoop yo ass if you look at her sideways, wtf you just say -

Big brother figure

The only protector I had left, laughed at my misery as if

This was a game....

Who could get the girl

She’s a little young but she’s a girl

I know her she won’t trip

After all we ain’t blood

You like this don’t you little girl

Litt- wa, wait

Oh shit this is a little girl

It’s too late brother

You’ve taken the last bit of innocence your sperm donor crushed, you’ve chewed it up & spit it into the neighbors yard when you ignored my yelps

When you told my demon “ha watch this”,

This is on me, it has to be

What am I doing wrong

Did I laugh too loudly? Did I hug them too closely?

Why?

10 years later & songs that fill the room with memories of sorrow hit home

Baseball bat to a tennis ball at close range hard

Right to the pussy bone

Paralyzing me

Again