this one's for you

my friend tells me that
i look younger
and clarifies that it’s
like i’m more at ease
not so tense anymore

i almost say
“i love you”
because in that moment
my heart is so full of
love it could burst

but instead i make a 
joke about my age
to hide that i am
so close to weeping
right then because of
how right they are

and i did weep
on that day
sitting on a friends bed
with my chest wrapped 
in bandages and my
head in my hands

i wept since it 
was finally over
so many years of
breaking my knuckles against
the cage of the gender
some doctor assigned
me at birth

and my friend was right
with what they said
i do feel younger
less like 21 going on 40
and more like
coming home 

after being away
for just too long