Why I Cut People Off

I have tried to see the best in everyone and everything 

At this point, it may seem as though I am more of a pessimist than is true 

I do not wish to see the worst in people, but I am sure that in due time, I will

The people that I trust never seem to be the right ones 

There are few people that I have trusted and have returned my trust without a scratch

For those few, I am thankful and pray that I never lose them 

For the others, I pray that they find people who they can trust 

The majority of people whom I instill trust in whittle a knife out of it before plunging it into my chest 

I place my well-being and my heart in their hands 

They prove I was wrong by abusing, breaking, and kicking me to the side 

Then ask what is wrong like nothing happened 

The worst one was recent and is a sore subject 

We had a weird relationship for years, but I trusted him with my whole heart 

He was the worst because everything was so sudden yet drawn out 

He hid behind a veil so as to protect himself as he ripped me apart 

He couldn’t have any blood on his clothes though he constantly drapes himself in the color  

At the end, I was left on my knees with a gaping hole in my chest where his knife was still imbedded 

How do you pull out the knife and stitch yourself back together when someone so important to you is now gone forever?

I’m not sure you do 

Instead, you cut people off before you are covered in your own blood at the hands of someone who you believed cared for you 

I cut people off so that I will never again be down on my knees with a knife stuck in my chest. 

I cut people off so that I will never have to be in this position that I have been in time and time before 

I wish I could tell my story, but he would just come back with a new knife. 

All of the lies were just that, lies 

They always are, but sometimes they are just so convincing 

They draw you in until you believe that you fell on the knife, not that it was driven through your flesh 

“You are nothing” 

How wrong he is and I will show him, but not for him

For me 

I cut people off to protect myself 

So that I can build my empire 

The right people will come, I just have to weed out the bad ones