Meant to live

I’m looking

I’m feeling

I’m searching

I’m resting

I’m hurting

I’m loving

I’m hating

I’m trying to learn

I’m trying to keep myself together like cheap glue in my wounds

Around my neck I feel nothing

Around my arms I feel a tingle

Around my hips I feel nothing

Around my legs and feet there is awaiting movement like people crouched at the starting line, waiting

And back to my hands there is a stronger tingle, frantic twitches

To make something, create something

To do more than look, feel, search, rest, hurt, love, hate, learn

Something more than wait, anything but remaining still while the machine inside is turning and smoke is burning

So before the gears rust out and freeze

I vowed to myself that I will go where each twitch brings me

I will write my heart, my love and the fears. 

I will write the hurt with the pain

Because I will write for what comes after these mental wars

A peace I can dream about, I can write about until it floats off the pages and into my soul

I will write and I will feel, I will look, search, rest, hurt, love, hate but only to learn my lessons.

I will



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