i have questions

We haven't talked in a little bit over a month. And maybe it's because we didn't try hard enough. Or maybe it's because I didn't try hard enough. I still haven't figured that out yet, but i also haven't figured out a lot of things about what happened. I never thought that I would take so much time to dwell over a silly one-sided relationship but there was something really intriguing about what we had. I still go by every day getting blind sighted by you in the hallways and in class, it's almost like we never met, we never had an exclusive relationship or let alone, a friendship. I still think a lot about what happened to us. What did I do wrong? Was there something i could have done to change what happened? Maybe it wasn't even worth trying to fix something that was falling apart so quickly. I guess I'll never get to know. But that's way really eats away at my mind. I still wonder if i had any significance to your life even though you really tried showing me that i don't. I wonder what goes on in your head sometimes, and by sometimes i mean all of the time. I really want to know how your feeling about the whole failure of the situation that YOU didn't even choose to even attempt to fix. I have so much trouble understanding why you don't even want to try and fix what happened. I really don't want to sound conceited but I tried so hard to fix what you broke and you didn't even care, and that still troubles me every day, but since you don't want talk to me I can't just pour out my heart into you like your some sort of diary. Even if you did it wouldn't matter because you wouldn't listen to me like there's some sort of brick wall between us. I don't get much sleep anymore because of you and it shouldn't be your fault but I don't know how else you're going to be able to exit your self from my mind. I guess that's something that I won't ever get to know, which isn't good enough for me but you don't care so it doesn't really matter on your end. It really burns me inside to know that you're always happy without me being in your life anymore. I never get used to being so easily forgotten but this time it really burns me. Sometimes I don't get why I hold on so tightly to things when I know that I'm going to get hurt in the end. I guess i always think that the same situation is going to play out differently, it never does. It's so hard for me to even think about what happened between us because you have managed to get into my head and my heart just so could go and tear apart my happiness to pieces. I want to seek out revenge so badly but I know that it doesn't solve anything. I would love to go to your house and bitch you out in front of your father just so you could really hear how badly you've hurt me. I want you-you to really just acknowledge how badly you've ruined me. I want you to know that you've gotten a hold of my heart and i still haven't gotten it back from you. I wish that we never met those 3 years ago. I want you to know that you have managed to push me over the line. I have never been pushed across the line until you shoved me with all the force you held in your cold, bitter, and empty body. And if I'm being honest with you, I think that you've gotten some sort of sick enjoyment out of me being hurt. Maybe that's because you're so hurt inside that you felt the need to hurt me back so badly that I have issues with you as a whole. Or maybe it's because of your inability to talk things out, and I get that it's so difficult for someone to do that, but you could have at least tried to give me an explanation as to why you didn't want to talk. Instead, you shut me out completely, and when I tried to shove my way into your head that when you came me with a bittersweet lock and left me stranded outside of your feelings. And I guess that's not going to change but I'm never going to stop trying to fix what we did and didn't do. I know that you don't care and you'll be able to carry on every day being ok and I guess that'll support that the best that I can but it's going to be a different story for me. And when summer break comes around I'll probably not see you for those 3 months and that excites me in a really sad sense. Because I still have your face burned into the back of my mind and my feeling for you are going to always be there, some of them are good and some of them are the reason that I'm writing this poem. I really hope that you realize what you do to me.  hope that it eats you up inside and i hope it burns. I'm sure it won't but if it ever does i hope that you'll tell me about when it happens. I hope i get a apology and i hope that when or if it happens that you'll have people that will want to support you. Because I'm not saying that I won't be there for you but I'm not guaranteeing that I won't do you what you did and shut you out completely. I might just tell you that you should let it go like what other people have been telling me. Or maybe I laugh in your face and continue to live my life just so I can scorn you. Now I don't want that to happen but what I want doesn't really matter since you obviously showed me that. So thank you but also fuck you. have a nice life and if you ever see this . I hope we start asking yourself questions too.