Takin these precedent matters
As if the president matters
breakin, steppin flaking their faces
and they're bracing their asses
a ludicrous scene here
a bleeding sound that gushes
junior or senior
I'm jerkin till they beLEAVES
I'm beating round the Bushes
'til this fiend's moral is mushed
I'm not eating pounds of kush
but I'm exhausted I wanna hit the hay, so how could I stop beating round the Bush?
Sick of seeing Nick Clegg too so I guess the scenic route is brushed (get it?) XD
This is a message to peasants thinking 'the leaders allowed to push'
I've got addresses I'm addressing this to he that's bound to push
that button that's dressing the lady earth with foul and thus
destroying the planet infact it'd leave a trillion thousand sqooshed
just toying with aftermath has been body count that's flushed.
- Author: EpsilonLessThanZero ( Offline)
- Published: May 13th, 2019 07:31
- Comment from author about the poem:
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 14
Comments2
That was brilliant, I'll admit it took my brain a few attempts to read and get the flow but second time round it had a sick beat.
You've got passion my friend
That kush line was fantastic and the start, with a banging end.
We can't be everyone's cuppa
Much appreciated
With peace and respect
Thanks so much man, I aprreciate it. I wish I could upload more everday I have so many to post haha. Thanks so much for reading it man honestly.
Yeah! Then you don't even know what ones to post lol
Mine a backing up lots some just get lost, but it is needed as I read slow, I mean really slow. It can take me weeks to catch up!
Let alone trying to catch new comers, but this place is my therapy, help me see I'm not crazy.
Dude do you have like facebook or something? (I mean if you want or feel comfortable) we can like send each other stuff I have a lot of rhymes I think you'd like haha.
Hello E.L.T.Z.!
I read your latest poem as you requested. Though your signature style of poetry is very different from mine, I nevertheless liked your poem. The political commentary that it expresses is very apt and I certainly agree with it (as a liberal). The phrasal end-rhymes in lines 1 and 2 is very clever and immediately grabs my attention (as a writer of rhymed poetry): "...precedent matters/ ...president matters". The play on the verb(s) "believes" and "beLEAVES" also keeps your reader on his or her toes, rhetorically and poetically speaking. And the image or likeness created by your use of the middle-alignment format function of the text writer (provided by this site) with the text of your poem is reminiscent to me of an Old World style of water-fountain (that can be found in the town square of a Tuscan village in Europe). Which begs the question, did you intend this (visual effect)? Regardless, I like your poem and definitely feel that it stays true to your signature style of poetic expression and I therefore believe that you ought to keep pursuing your unique poetic voice to the point of mastery. Thanks for the read and for the honor of your request for my critique of your poem! Your colleague in all things poetic (and lyrical), TSB.
Thank you so much T, I appreciate it a lot. With regards to your question of the visual effect intent, I honestly didn't intend it at all but I so should have said I did lol. But yeah, I write a lot and will be posting more, thank you so much for reading it means a lot.
No problem, E.L.T.Z.!
~TSB (The Swarthy Bard)
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