chapter closes

Highschool 4 years of misery, life at a standstill, full of people you hate, people you love, people you hate, people you love, people you hate, people you love, people you devour, people you spit out and at. Everything filled with truth and lies suffering on a cross labeled highschool because society says its a bad deal like an addict on crack a society that also makes wicked good and we get reeled in. It's a place where bullies live a place that scares the living hell out of smart people but later we all beat ourselves up to make a living for our future a place that crushes our hearts because we find out our crushes didn't like us how bout they let's us know of the 1% chance we have with our crushes or about giving our time to anyone who doesn't need it but of course we only figure that out until after college. highschool is the place i also find out how to hate myself picking at my skin and my flaws apart when really my younger self didn't care about that. i only cared about what my next meal was vs. what some girls do now which is when is my next meal? do you see how twisted that is. it’s not what’s next it’s when will it change and how does it affect. it’s like an entire plague hit everyone and now our minds are fucked up and they get more fucked up cause of our “valued” intakes when it’s suicidal and detrimental. everyone is worried about fitting in so much that we don’t even allow ourselves to think for ourselves and we take stupidity and make it our reality at a hallucination’s dis-value. but even still we do all of this under a cliques standpoint we judge beyond ourselves and think we aren’t all alike when really we all are one in the same. INSANE.... i mean we go to deep measures just to tear eachother down. some of us are so low that we even betray one another. if that’s not insane or psychotic i don’t know what is. Just call it your midlife crisis. high school 4 years of pain, and tears, full of i don't knows and realizations.  full of I have no drive, i have no confidence, who do i confide ins?  how do i believe in myself if the demon tells me to think people are beneficial when everyone hurts me.  i haven't grown or passed the misery graduation came and went. and went high school stayed.