Driving Thru Rat Race Maze

I ain't gonna brag, boast, blab...,

lest yours truly suffers demise from backstab,

resignedly taking wheel of our automobile

donning, (but NOT trumpeting)

role as taxi cab

shuttling the missus, (she effusively glad)

to medical appointment

me, the obliging husband

in order for this mister former cad,

debt, now an ordinary dude dad,

who upon snaking, crab

like sighing, shimmying, scooching...

thru bumper to (rubber

baby buggy) bumper drab

morning commute, which

snail's pace spurred shoutout, via ab

dom men null controlled app

designed by A. Habb,

which homonym identical

sound of descendent, sans faint jab,

asper fictitious Capt'n of Pequod

at sea vis a vis

if forced to snatch macadam landgrab

all the while aye spent gab

bing maintaining mindful outlook

for aggressive drivers,

whose cold icy stare

felt akin to painful jab

methought best not to "flip the bird"

subsequently get rushed

to emergency medical lab

avoided, cuz aye hapt tubby vigilant

for brazen drivers, plus additionally

keeping keen eye for police ready to nab

speed demons (mailer or female) even nawab

receiving citation for traffic infraction

and if repeat offender sent to rehab

with license revoked,

nonetheless a slight stab

of anxiety as appointment time elapsed

indicated by built in digital clock

no matter arriving after 7:45 am time

my de facto role as chauffeur,

the wife would disfrock,

but fortunately excuse, sans gridlock

did not necessitate need

us to return at later date, thus no knock

kin wind out figurative sails, hence

circumstance did not

find me laughingstock,

thus any consideration, asper myself
resorting to quaffing hemlock
unnecessary honorable sacrifice,
that versus engaging in lethal warlock
additionally compromising private uber
to give spouse coveted lyft.