1989

I see her jumping in the puddle, rain forever, I think she's 14,

 

 

She glances up to the window, sees me starring...smiles, that sad smile,

 

 

That I've seen from the shadows so often it seems,

 

 

I wonder often if she's broken like me?

 

 

Intelligent yes, but has a hard time with empathy,

 

 

19 now, off at that school we fought so hard about, yet not to far away,

 

 

We see each other sometimes, with very little to say,

 

 

Still that sadness in her eyes...that In the mirror, I see everyday,

 

 

Pictures in a box of California, as I hold her on that pier, that I forever wished we could have stayed,

 

 

Did I pass it onto to her, and like me, fight everyday and pray you don't break?

 

 

The darkness so tangible, the breaths you cant take,

 

 

30 now, we hardly speak, engulfed in uncomfortable silence,

 

 

Yet connected by fate, which has become our reliance,

 

 

I left you a long letter,

 

 

Please do as I ask, you'll see, it gets better,

 

 

As your father, I did the best I could, with what I was given,

 

 

I loved and love you Amanda,

 

 

I"ll wait for you here...In Heaven...No rush baby...

 

I've seen what awaits you, a journey of certainty, clarity and loved completely,

 

Broken, maybe? Healed also, by Him...For you and I are in different realms, yet it always was our destiny...