We're meant to be, so why do I feel so?

We've planned the days

we've planned a life.

my soul feels like its tied to you

and you claim the same

and god,

i know its true.

 

but everyday

gets stuck the same

of saying nothing

and playing no games.

 

there no fun in this friendship,

no memories in our love

 

things i've told to you before

not once, not twice

but four

 

you'll talk about family,

you want to build a life

 

but everyday i feel like i have to fight

to ask you for your time

to ask to see your face

to ask to be apart of the life you already had

 

i claim your my friend,

but in reality its not true

 

you claim im your love,

and i'll agree with you

 

you say you'll fix this

you've said it so

 

you said it would be easier when we get to wake up together

you claim it so

 

you said its the texting, its confusing the thoughts

muddling the emotions

you use this excuse as so

 

i tell you then come see me, we can talk about it

i'll look at your voice and see your face

nothing left to chance, with everything to read

 

but you said "i dont think that way"

your days are off and free

and you don't think to see me

 

you'll sit with friends

friends who ask who i am

friends who want to meet me

 

and yet you still can't click,

that thats where i'm ment to be

with you and your friends.

 

its been two years of this

this trying to make this work

 

its been six years,

since we met in school

and every single day i've loved you so

and you'd agree.

 

why am i fighting to be in your life?

why do you not think to have me there unless someone else tells you?

why do you say you listen to what i have to say, then do it again?

why do you never hear me?

why do you think for me?

why don't you just ask?

why don't you think of me?

why do we never do anything?

 

why would you want to call me your wife one day?

why are we talking about moving in together?

why are we talking about builing a life?

 

when i've known you for 6 years.

and you never made me your friend.

 

when we've been dating for 2 years

and you've never invited me to your life.

 

i've set the examples,

i've told you directly,

i asked you to think of me,

i told you i was upset,

i told you i wanted it to end.

 

you told me you heard me.

 

yet

 

nothings changed.

 

we're ment to be in every way

i love you with all of my soul

a love in my veins

shaking through every bone

and in every breath.

 

but we're not even friends,

the way we act.

 

we're not compatible.

i think i've learned that.

 

i can't feel this way again

i can't tell you my feelings

i can't have you tell me you hear me

i can't realise you didn't hear me in another month.

 

i can't do it again.

i tell you to fight for me.

i tell you even though we're secure,

you should still make me feel like i want to stay.

 

i'm telling you one last time.

that if im really your life.

your future

your soon to be bride

your wife

your future mother to your kids

then you have to show me.

 

because im not trusting your words anymore.

even when were meant to be, so.