Unavoidable To Deny Praising Urination And Defecation

Yet upon another reflexive routine dash

skipping to Waterloo, I got emboldened

with idea praising basic vital functions

aware requisite elimination of liquid

and/or solid waste any obstruction

disallowing body to expel toxins would

prove fatal, thus gratitude toward

regular unpicturized, unhindered, and

unaided intervening measures undertaken

to experience thee nonpareil pleasures

actuated without purgative, yet should

instance arise finding impossibility

to exercise sphincter muscle

(constipation worse fate than

perdition) alleviating solid state brick

like blockage spasm inducing agony

within me bum, yours truly racks impound

did severely inconvenienced physical

self accessing natural remedy to soften

stool temporarily incapacitating peaceful

ease zee ex-lax feeling accompanying

experience that approximates how pregnant

mother inundated with contractions ready to

give birth, whereat merciful joyous crying

emanates courtesy this humble human, no

matter he never tested his steely ironic

mettle say completing wilderness survival

course, but rarely speculates such grueling

boot camp self inflicted challenges

pale in comparison to loosing bowel

movement big enough to sink battleship, and

mighty exertion finally dumps payload,

the toilet bowl hastens meteorologists to

issue tsunami warnings insync with "Damn

the torpedo" this ole windbag blasted clear

across contiguous United States, where

whizzing, sounding, jet setting like

speeding bullet (self Mach re:) puzzled

onlookers mistake me for some foreign entity

lost in space analogous to detect a stylish alien

(pants bunched around ankles - most definitely

tell tale clue, asper rating him hip hopping

longfellow), yea undoubtedly a messenger

from outer limits of twilight zone sent to...

wait...his trumpeting tush gaseous, an utter

farts feigning "FAKE" comet tee.