Mortality forces me to confront the inevitable...

Though feeling one among the basket

of deplorables, yours truly, albeit groggy

from unsettling frightful dreams also rather

shy to summon courage amidst adversity took

deep breaths (envisioning egotism inflating

confidence, whereat, I never felt so swell

during mein kampf – brutish, nasty, short -

brevity of existence predicated on lukewarm

foreboding), nonetheless "FAKE"emotional

state found, this son a gun to bite (or gum,

when not wearing dentures) figurative bullet

painfully aware, any future prospect would be

uprooted to savor metaphorical salad days - I

never been there, nor done anything of great

moment thus far, hence predicted future mulch

ditto rottenly stalked, seeded, peppered... with

pestiferous psychological grubs, therefore

what appeared as arbitrary decision generated

inside ma noggin tossed potential bleak series of

unfortunate events (courtesy Lemony Snicket

playbook), plus concomitantly set in motion

unforeseen consequences, this garden variety

humorously cornily bred tasseled fella indubitably

sensed deep within marrow of his lovely bones

serious decision he needed to make.

Without a second to lose, I gingerly removed one

after another article of clothing, and told myself to

keep cool head at all times, lest sudden change of

mind defeat purposeful crystal clear cathartic,

holistic, opportunistic...test undermining motherlode

of mettle, thence with nary instant to zinc about

and offset any chill me right hand (goose pimpled

goose pimpled entire body) shocked with heebie

jeebies, this naked ape braved weathering cold

water showered down upon every imperfect

mottled fleshy square inch.

Jet of cold water instantaneously roused former

corpse like state, though rinsing fugitive moles

viz offal body odor found me in a lather, no matter

unbridled horse sense muzzled chomping at the bit

and sent immediate jolt of joie de vivre forcing

endurance against taping hot water momentarily

conjuring living, functioning, bathing...of the grid

this former Norwegian bachelor farmer alone in the

wilderness delving into modus operandi to survive

washing aging baby boomer within pellucid ice cold

water of Lake Wobegon, where all the women

stand strong, all the men (absent this har prevaricator

"agent provocateur,") evince good-looking traits, and

all the children are above way above average height.