Hindsight always equals 20/20

Acuity absent amidst domestic turmoil,

passage of time nsync with diminished

pitched family emotional battles relieves

blinded insight allowing, enabling, and

providing painful awareness incumbent

to mourn the absent paternal maturity, I

reach out with genuine non petty heart

ache aware impact loosed mismanaging

attentive can never be expunged, nor can

yours truly (me) affect diminished rancor

quite understandable, cuz anger gypping

healthy development (body, mind, spirit

triage) during majority, viz mein kampf

i.e. permanent arrested maturation leaves

papa experiencing grievous sadness plus

mixed grabbag (no, NOT plastic) comp

wry zing livid rage, how mine existence

bereft of untested discomfort compounded

courtesy extreme introvertedness linkedin

with immense anxiety, minus self esteem,

self acceptance, et cetera, where torturous

mindset difficult to comprehend decades

removed, when innocent naiveté cleaved

childhood's end aborting short lived bliss,

where loving parents birthed this offspring

neurologically riddled with devastating hear

owing, lacerating...psychologically blistering

pain reflexively found withdrawal into shell

totally detached where human league, family,

of origin, classmates...seemed bajillion miles

away alone within minecrafted bitterly cold

wilderness not accessible by father, mother,
sisters, and then later progeny and spouse,

hermetically sealing myself totally risk averse

to interact, thus invariably penalizing capacity

against growth unwittingly truncating, stemming,

rooting behavior – imprisoned labyrinth castout

never feeling important, especially during early

boyhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and

retrospectively deeming garden variety generic

lad ill equipped to cope with ordinary everyday

circumstances (as grown ascribing unfortunate

series of events) to biochemical and physical

anomalies (most binary non visible) exhibiting apathy

during formative stages deeming life arduous

ordeal, thus self resignation toward attaining

nothing short of failure reinforced with abysmal

academic and employment track record, where

death be not proud donned and trumpeted as

anorexia nervosa inflicting permanent irrevocable

harm even till this very moment dumbly smarting

as more or less solitary, lone wolf dissociated

concerning emasculation, isolation, liberation

never joining the thick of hoopla - deathly off

frayed rejection would slap me upside the head

aloofness inadmissible begetting offspring whose

needs and wants trumped selfishness, thus...

no deliberate intent to wreak havoc upon deux

daughters, the eldest bearing brunt of fallout

while agonizingly struggling - loathe to accept

mental, physical, spiritual deficiencies.