July twenty fifth, ninety ninety six

Xxvi+ marriage anniversary (mine)

recalls first disastrous

date with future missus

approximately waltzing

matt tilde two dozen

plus years ago

Tex Mex Connection

201 E Walnut Street

North Wales, Pennsylvania, 19454

every entree included beans

maybe refried or otherwise

effectively laid siege

mine delicate constitution

quickly felt bloated

ready to explode

ala Hindenburg Airship

rushed out restaurant

like bat out of hell

twofold purpose accomplished

desperately needed

to eliminate gaseous buildup

airing banal courtesy

yours truly as kapellmeister

aired rendition, viz Die Fledermaus

for sphincter muscle

hence, faster than Usain Bolt

dashed out front door

plus needed to tap MAC

inadequate wallet stash cash

thus, aye hightailed to nearest ATM,

or rather courtesy rectal explosion

blasted lovely gaseous body

analogously, effectively, gravity free

whizzing, whirring, whining balloon

a bit far afield

incidental bank woe

gastrointestinal directive resolved

forced effort taxed derriere

all told alight propulsion

natural gas fueled

lovely bones within flash

far surpassing long held

Guinness Book world's record

Jackass the ripper former

flatulence champion claimed,

nonetheless I safely landed far

from madding crowd

analogous pulling pin

out hand grenade

gluteus maximus burnt to crisp

necessitated immediate diversion

local drug store

purchased preparation H

discreetly patted, palmed, pacified

scorched cheeky bum

suffered first-degree burns

hemorrhoid cream balm

alleviated buttuck blasts fallout

quickly reunited with my gal

slightly concerned about whereabouts

related personal anecdote

tuckus thru remains of

otherwise humdrum hours

concluding asinine antics,

where approximately

half past monkey's ass

driving lass back home

found me exerting effort suppressing

recurring rumblies in domain tumbly.

Posterior script:

the above account

unsolicited plug for satisfied patron

asper jumpstarting behind the times

car rear ring buttuck blaster beastie boy.