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Brotherly bummer plods along his staid usual humdrum life

Methinks lame excuses poorly explain

absent presence gnosh hoe wing up to

acknowledge our papa's ninetieth orbit

around sun, nor dearly beloved eldest

commencement successfully, modestly,

honestly (applying her smarts) as freshly

minted (sage) University of Pennsylvania

graduate, now where webbed wide world

avails untold opportunities to make positive

accomplishments, this papa never set

similar goals for himself, he languished

leaving untested latent abilities, now glum,

distraught, afflicted with irrevocable jangling

lamentation foregoing, forfeiting, forging

pathetic enactment regarding livingsocial

versus squirreling himself hermetically

sealed never linkedin with training sights

keeping traction upon maximizing native

abilities, thus frequent depressive bouts

find me prone speculating nonexistence,

(i.e. death), yet averse toward aggressive

unconscionable dirty deeds done dirt cheap

expediting end game of Life, cuz day after

week after month... pits me against hand

to mouth monetary woe whereat cost to

maintain, insure, fuel 2019 Hyundai Sonata

takes lion's share of monetary impossible

mission to become financially solvent, and

hashtagged social anxiety deters persevering

gainful employment, where self loathing

regarding predilection with profuse sweaty

hands finds yours truly aggravated enough

to admit disability to enjoy remains of days,

weeks, months... subsumed by penuriousness

diminishes excitement toward any purpose,

plus disgruntled without webbed bliss, nor

does bound by marriage appeal, yet the

missus would be left high and dry, (or low

and wet if she dwelt closer to sea level), this

bleakness especially pronounced as role of

fatherhood no longer viable, enjoyable, applicable

aware how offspring impacted by poor examples

of parents accentuated by appalling housekeeping,

additionally progeny's psyche indelibly defiled,

hi-jacked, scarred with husband and wife devoid

of affection toward each other, and NOT prioritizing

welfare of deaux darling daughters want nothing

more with us, which evokes sentimentality, when

interaction between biological dada and then young

girls generated laughter and utterances regularly

voicing "I love you and mama" came to screeching

halt upon, particularly selfishly expending valuable

time answering and posting personal advertisements

seeking discreet liaisons, and within overheard

half conversation with earshot (even if bedroom

door locked) prurient laced conversations, and

contrived secret rendezvous (most like intuitively

suspected by eldest, she still harbors resentment

towards yours truly countless shortcomings only

vicariously experienced getting invites to fully

functional dynamic, immaculate, roomy Mainline

classmates living envious lives.


Objectionable behavior (mine) as dada also applied

not so prodigal son questioning judgement cast during

salutary estrangement constituting singular male

progeny within family of origin.

 



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